Gay Bar Chicken Tamale
This summer I was staying in San Francisco and I was hard up for some man action. A band on myspace was looking for volunteers to sell merch at a music festival, so I volunteered thinking it might be a good way to get fresh meat. The show was at the Eagle Tavern, this amazing gay biker bar with a fire pit. I got there super early to meet the guy who was setting up the show. He looked like Steve Buscemi mixed with Wesley from the Princess Bride—-a weird super-skinny skeezy kind of moustache hot. I was dressed like an indie art girl with orthopedic shoes and no makeup and a cardigan. I was surrounded by bears and men in tight jeans. “Steve” seemed like the only guy who would give me the time of day.
He supplied me with a gin and tonic and we were off. I cheerfully fussed over arranging t-shirts while an anemic audience trickled in. Some bands played. I don’t remember them, but I do remember being drunk and feeling like Steve was getting more and more appealing. We had a lot in common. We were talking about art—and life—and the meaning of things. It was strangely earnest except for that I meant none of it and was just fascinated by his repulsiveness. The skinniness, the bug-eyes, the moustache. It was so intriguing. Near the end of the show the tamale lady showed up and I bought a chicken tamale. Me and Steve took turns biting into it and chewing with our mouths close together. He put his tongue in my mouth and slid his hands underneath my coquettish cardigan while I straddled his knee. Abruptly the show ended and I had to sell some cd’s and t-shirts.
At the end of the night he tried to convince me to take the bus to his place, or to meet up another time. He sent me 2 myspace messages the next day and then kept a steady stream of them coming for two months thereafter, in increasing tones of desperation and anger. I’m not sure why I didn’t want to meet up with him again, except that he wasn’t really my type at all, just the most my type (a straight man) in that particular context. Also I showed his myspace to my best friend and she said he was “revolting” and she laughed at his art. I didn’t tell her what I did because I didn’t want her to make fun of me.