“i’m sitting next to the ring leader, and my friend is in the middle of the two other guys. all of a sudden, i don’t remember how it exactly started, which means i probably started it… we were basically fucking in the hot tub with my friend and his friends in the hot tub.”
“Kelly” writes in:
i’ve had so many disgusting make outs, horrifying hook ups, or excruciating evenings of adventures gone wrong. i blame liquor and naivety of being young when most of these have happened. but even recently in my old age, i’ve found that it has not deterred me from riding the inevitable bad decision train.
one night, i went into the nearby city to meet up with a friend and drink heavily and then go to work early. i brought the remnants of a handle of stolichnaya raspberry and knew that there would be more alcohol waiting for me. i got to the city by 11 and it was still 85 degrees out, and in her apartment it was even hotter and her air conditioning was not working. so we sat in her sweltering apartment drinking wine, vodka and orangina, and chain smoking cigarettes. after drinking until 1230, we decided to finally go to the bar. we were covered in sweat, yet the rest of the city was also.
we bring one of the bottles of wine with us for the walk to the nearby bar. we’re drinking on people’s stoops and chain smoking every block. finally, we get to the bar and start doing shots and drinking crazy amounts of beer. it is at this time, i decide to put on a faux irish accent and work my magic. the first bar is lame, and we are tired of singing lame college style karaoke, and decide to leave. we left the bar and we ran into these three guys. we start talking to them, they’re from a neighboring state and all of a sudden we have an entourage.
we walk together to this underground bar. we continue to drink and dance and i black out for portions of this part of the evening, but i do remember deciding to buy a round of whiskey for everyone. i am NOT allowed to drink whiskey. it is automatic bad decision train, i become ill, if i drink whiskey. but i had to keep up the irish girl thing, so i took my shot of jameson like a true champion and like a true mick.
so after that, we decided to leave that bar also. so we all get into a taxi and go somewhere. it turns out, this somewhere is one of the three guys apartments. it is this glorious penthouse, and they lead us through there to a rooftop bar where you have an incredible view of this beautiful city with a hot tub. so we’re drinking patron and shooting the shit and we all end up in the hot tub.
i’m sitting next to the ring leader, and my friend is in the middle of the two other guys. all of a sudden, i don’t remember how it exactly started, which means i probably started it… we were basically fucking in the hot tub with my friend and his friends in the hot tub. his kissing skills were far from awesome and his member was not one that i would call my most eventful experiences, but i was extremely drunk. so we let this go on for a while. he wants me to go in to his bedroom with him and i refused… flat out. so after a while of this adventure of him trying to make me want him badly enough to go into his bedroom, we left. no name exchange or anything.
so we put our clothes on, hailed a cab, sat in the cab soaking wet and went back to the painfully hot apartment. i was then made a meal of trader joes fried rice and passed out by 6am. i slept all of 4 hours, woke up painfully hungover wishing for death, and drove an hour to my office.
before i got to my office, i looked in my rear view mirror and i saw this huge hickey on my neck. i mean, massive. it could have been multiple hickeys, but at this point it didn’t matter. i was wearing a tank top because it was 95 degrees out with humidity higher than it should be. i went to the nearest walgreens and bought some cover up and that didn’t help. so in the middle of summer i wore a hoodie to cover up the hickeys so my boss, who just happened to be in my office that day, would not see how my evening/morning really was.